First the news: My W has returned to me!!!!! . . . Got you. April fool!
Life is fine overall. I won't lie: many ups and downs on the emotional front. The lows are not so low lately and I wish the ups were higher but I will take it right now.
I have decided to press to get the D final; I am working the papers. Taking 'control' of the process is indeed lifting.
How do I know I am done? Let me use an example. I took S9 to his baseball game yesterday. My W came to watch. I was upbeat but W had little to say and no eye contact. She did sit near me but she spent her time talking to others which is rude to say the least.
At one point D6 stood between W and I. She took my hand in one of her hands and W's hand in her other. She brought our hands together. No reaction from W. D6 did it again and W pulled away slightly. How sad. In W's mind this whole thing is better for the kids (she told so once).
And I had little reaction. I did not expect anything different. That is detachment helping.
And it is clear that it is time.
Thanks again for checking in. It really does help me and I am grateful.