You see, whenever you ask her what she has been doing, she maybe feels you are trying to "control" her. This is what my H felt. My H did keep saying he wanted "space". In the end I got the message and stopped asking him what he had done or what he was going to do--this kind of thing.
Instead of asking her what she has been doing, what about telling her what you have been doing? This means you may have to start doing something new so that you have something to talk to her about.
She is really telling you what is wrong. You have to listen. You are smothering her and she wants you to leave her "alone". Eventually, if you can keep cool and not ask her, she will probably volunteer information. You cannot keep on as you are, you are driving her away.
The other thing: you have to learn not to argue. Bite your tongue. It is possible. Lots of ideas to try. Then if something works, do it again.
If you think about it, you will see that what you are doing isn't working. Michele says to try something different. When you find something that works, do it again!!
It doesn't matter if you think it is "right" or not!!
Read about Divorce Busting« Telephone Coaching here!