Thread #7. What a year! I am glad that last tread locked - never want to repeat that stuff!
But after this trial, I am so happy I cannot stand it!
Brief recap: Me: 51, WAW: 43; two kids: S9 and D6 Bomb (I don’t love you – I am leaving next month): Jan 06 She never left but I moved out to give her space: 11 May 06 She wants a D (via an email): Jun 06 Complaint for Divorce filed D: 11 Oct 06
It has been over a year now.
WAW wants a D and will not consider changing her mind. I made changes and worked hard and I was hoping for a turn around, especially over the holidays. But nothing has changed and now it is time to move forward.
No, I am not quitting. But there comes a time when if you love someone you must not hold them against their will. If she feels certain that I am no longer right for her, then she cannot be right for me. That is her decision; it says nothing about me.
I haven't been letting go of W. I am letting go now. I'm sorry she is gone. It's nobody’s fault; it's just the way it is. I must accept it; I cannot move forward until I do.
It is time to GAL, move on, focus on me and my children.
I am not a failure here. Why am I so happy? I have been given these great gifts:
I am coming to know what it is to be a man.
I am now in touch with me and my emotions.
I now know what unconditional love is (finally!)
I now know that I am in control of my life.
I now accept who I am and I will never again apologize for it.
I now know that I will do great things with my life. I will strive to grow.
I can now lead an honorable and compelling life filled with opportunities, not roadblocks.
I now understand that I must move my life from one centered on validation toward a life governed by these principles, my core values: Integrity, Respect (self-respect and respecting others), Family, Faith, Loyalty, Understanding, Perseverance, Knowledge, Freedom and Forgiveness.
I am certain that I will continue to nourish my wonderful R with my kids that did not exist before.
I now realize that I must be be the best former H I can be. I will support her as best I can.