And MORE from hacker!!


You don't go dark just for the sake of going dark. You go dark when everything else has failed and there is no hope left. I don't think you are at that point. You just need to focus more on apply DB'ing techniques.

Call her back but keep the conversation light. Avoid R talk at all costs since it seems to cause friction at this point. If she is calling, she is reaching out. Don't ignore her. Just be patient, kind, understanding and lighthearted on the phone with her.

I thought about going dark after I got my D papers but when I called Dottie, she asked me "what for? So she filed! Are you having more pleasant conversations? Are you getting along?" I said yes, seems that way. So she asked "why stop?"

If you can keep the conversations going and focus on her being your friend right now, that's good. Forget the overall goal and stick to baby goals. My wife tried to make me laugh on the phone today: baby goal. She was cold as ice when I saw her later in the day. So I forget that she was a snowman and take credit in having achieve a goal. At first, I thought she was just being like ice to show her SIL (her brother's wife) that she is "strong" but, then again, I'm assuming and that serves no purpose. So I ignore it and forget it.

Don't go dark because it's the catch phrase of the week. Go dark with a purpose. At this point, I'm not quite sure what the purpose would be...

If you do call her, don't start the conversation with "what's this bullsh** you want to talk about?"


Read about Divorce Busting« Telephone Coaching here!