Originally posted by Mick:

I don't know why, but it seems when you read the book you want to immediately leap to the LRT. Desparation I suppose. But in so many sitches, LRT is more of the same. LRT is the epitome of ignoring you spouse,

Is it?...certainly not my undersatnding of LRT.
I dont see "ignore your spouse" wriiten about in the context of LRT in DB.

I don’t see it either. Yeah. I think that it’s desperation. I think people think that they’ve already tried everything, so there’s nothing left but the Last resort. They’re looking for a silver bullet.

But, by definition, LRT is Last resort.

I like what people have been saying about First resort. In a nutshell, get your own head together first.

A relationship is between two people. You can’t fix the other, so start with yourself. Once you are “fixed”, you’re 50% done.

What about the other half? There’s nothing you can do about him/her. All you can do is patiently wait for the day when s/he is willing to work on his/her half of the R. If s/he is willing – or more accurately – becomes willing, then you’re on your way. If not, then you most certainly haven’t wasted your time by improving yourself.