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JJ, Thanks again for the past posts to me. I've had a pretty depressing week and am now I'm on the upswing and I reread this post again. I need to read it everynight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It helps me remove the focus I place on myself for being bad and not worthy (which I know is not true) to "hey let him screw up and see that it wasn't me that caused it." I haven't been available to be the scapegoat for a while now for him, but I have been playing it out far too much in my mind this week. Later, Sweet Orange