"I guess I don't feel like I am really letting go if I hope to get him back."
"Letting go" isn't necessarily the same as "tossing away". I think there's a BIG difference. Learning how to set yourself free from others, how to "detach" yourself from them, can actually work to bring you closer together. Sounds kinda weird, but it does seem to work that way.
You're taking yourself out of the equation when it comes to them and THEIR problems. Whether you've been needy, clingy, controlling, domineering, demanding, an anchor, or whatever they perceive you to be. You are removing yourself from being a scapegoat, are allowing them to begin to sort through their own stuff, and maybe give them a chance to see you in a different light. They deserve that courtesy from you. It's THEIR chance for self-discovery and change, just like you are doing. You don't have to "desert" them, you can be there with open arms and open eyes if and when they begin reaching back out to you.
Also, another biggie here is that you are taking THEM out of the equation when it comes to figuring out and working on YOUR stuff.
Again, if all this is done in the right frame of mind, I see this as a win-win situation all around for you, no matter what the final outcome of your relationship is.
Read about Divorce Busting« Telephone Coaching here!