Probably the one that stands out the most was and is controlled patience. I controlled my feeling when dealing with the everyday type problems (gave in to her) and on the larger issues like kids, home, divorce, affairs, and future I stuck to my guns and said you can not have it both ways. I distanced myself from her and just before the final break (I was going to start over and give up) she wanted to try and to try on my terms. She appreciated the fact that I never accepted her new double life and kept the same disposition on the big issues. Sorry if not making a lot of sense, I am not very good at writing.