Originally Posted by Gigi123
Hi everyone, we are getting into holiday season and i know this time can be tough, so hang in there.

Things are pretty busy in my household, good overall. I have expressed to H my concern re s8 and that im considering counselling for him in the new year. That seems to have done the trick, he is much more accommodating of S8 needs and he even brought him home a day early bevause s8 asked for it. We did have a number if incidents prior to this where s8 got really anxious about going with H and said to me mama please help. It was heartbreaking in all honesty and im afraid i had to step in and he stayed at home in the end. But since my very brief convo with H things are smoother.
We were due to meet for coffee to start some conversations around next steps re finances etc, but he was no show…which is pretty normal.

As the time goes on i realise that the last 18 months of our marriage was so dysfunctional, the anxiety i felt being around him, he was constantly angry and unhappy and snapping at kids, i became similar. Im so calm and patient now days, we had an incident today and it transpired that kids are going to theatre with the school and H booked the same show for the weekend. I know full well he blames me and he is irritated and previously i would have tried to explain myself, make things better, he would have been irritated noticeably which would cause me treading on egg shells.
Today, albeit finding this a little amusing, i realised that i dont need to justify myself, i didnt feel anxious, i did nothing wrong. He didnt communicate with me, and he gets the same comms from the school about all events as i do. So i felt at peace with this situation.
It will be 2 years in March and i just hope that one day very soon, his impact on my life will be non existent.

Vaccination programme is ramping up which means longer working days for me and more pay. Its timely, as Xmas hols always end up being expensive. Im looking forward to paying off a couple of things by March and i will be pretty much debt free, except the mortgage of course.

Happy Holidays everyone!

sounds like you're handling things pretty well Gigi, kudos to you friend. Taking the high road and being mature definitely isn't easy in these situations so well done!


Me: 40 W:41
T: 14 M: 11
S: 5

BD & OM Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"