Magnhild,
Originally Posted by Magnhild
I went away for the weekend with my tribe - the tribe that would usually include her, but hey ho. We had an amazing time in a most beautiful part of the country which I'd never been to before. Some new happy and funny memories.
That's awesome! Perfect GAL. Hope you had fun with your friends.

Originally Posted by Magnhild
It was W's birthday while we we there. After a great deal of soul searching I sent her a text to say "Happy Birthday. I hope you have a great day".
Eh. You shouldn't be reaching out. It slows your detachment and gives her some relief from her actions...easing her into the situation and pain of losing the relationship.

Originally Posted by CWarrior
Originally Posted by Magnhild
Not my problem anymore, but I am not heartless. Shoot me down again, but I reached out later that evening to find out how her mother was. "It must be such a worry for you all."
On this one, no nerf darts from me. I would do the same for a random stranger on the street, a clerk at a grocery store, a co-worker, an acquaintance, a friend, or a partner. If this is you and not done with any expectations no complaints.
Disagree w/CWarrior on this one. She is not some random stranger or casual acquaintance. She is your W who left you and break up your marriage. You should not be providing comfort to ease her burden. You wouldn't text all that to a random stranger or or store clerk. You might say something if you happened upon them by happenstance, but in this case you initiated contact out of no where.

Originally Posted by Magnhild
The amount of people that came up asking where my "lovely" wife was. I told them briefly that she'd left me and then moved the conversation on.
Seems like a good response. Tell them the high level sitch without delving into details and then move on.

Originally Posted by Magnhild
I even had a kid today asking me "You used to wear a ring, Miss. Where is it?" Totally innocent, but still.
That hurts. I had a friend's friend ask me "where's your beautiful wife?" at a party this weekend. He didn't know and didn't mean any harm, but it made me twinge a bit none the less.

Originally Posted by Magnhild
I see her at school as we both work there. Polite hellos. Professional hellos. It still kills me.
Hopefully she's stopped just "swinging by" to chat?

Originally Posted by Magnhild
I am continuing with not drinking and working out. Now down 12 KGs and looking finer by the day smile
Awesome!

Originally Posted by Magnhild
But I'm finding it hard to detach when I still love her so much. I'm hanging on day by day and committed to being the best possible woman I can be. I still think about her all the time, but keep those thoughts to myself. Occasionally break down, but getting stronger.
That's tough. Keep working at it. It takes time, but you'll get there.

Originally Posted by Magnhild
She's done, and I just need to get on with dealing with the hurt, but I still wish I could wake up from this nightmare.
I completely understand. Actually sleep used to provide relief but then you always wake up with the realization of the truth. It'll get better. Hang in there.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21