You all are so awesome! I know your worried about “me”! I know what that message meant and I know that you feel like I took it the opposite way. I’m sure you both were like WTH!!lol! I watched an article about detachment last night and I have been so worried that I wasn’t detached enough but I’m a lot further detached then I even realized. I don’t portray that here. I show weakness here because I feel like it’s my only place to be able to do that. I think I’m misunderstood because he doesn’t effect me. That ship sailed a long time ago! Now I won’t lie and say there isn’t a bad day I’m there every once in a while. I have control problems. I’ve always had control problems. He’s wrong in so many ways and he is to to blame for all of it BUT you guys I have a lot lessons to learn to. Maybe not for this M but maybe even for a future relationship. Closure is what I long for. The unknown is what bothers me. My H told me so many times throughout our M “you look for something wrong”! I do to! Instead of looking for the right then I assume the wrong. I don’t even know what makes me happy now. I’ve ask myself that a million times. Can he ever make me happy again, I don’t know? Would I love to see him finish his crisis and come back better, I don’t know that either? I’m lost you guys in what makes me happy. I don’t want a man to come grovel back. I want a strong man that knows he loves me and wants to be with me confidently and with his whole heart. There’s no other option!
