Why is he suddenly an innocent victim? Navarro, come on, you have a right to be skeptical. He should have to work at this. He has to be willing to move mountains to come back. If you let him waltz right back in you will be setting yourself up for BD#2. Make him work for it. If he is serious no obstacle will be too big.
I know you are worried about him giving up and going away. All LBS worry about that if they make R too difficult for their WAS. BUT, what are you showing him if he can do all of this, and then snap his fingers to come back? That it is okay what he did, he can do it again, and you will just have an open door for him to come back into your life despite what he has done. Make sure you have a list of requirements for R. Things like MC, IC for both of you, full transparency (you know where he is at all times (there are apps for this) and you have access to all of his accounts, email, social media, etc).
He has to earn his way back if there is any chance of a lasting R.
I'm with Steve here. Maybe read the posts again. It wasn't an admonishment to give him a free pass. It was more lighthouse than open door.
GAL. Notice. Pause. Breathe.
Leave him to his journey while you are on yours. Healing. It will come. But it will not come while you are watching his moves to determine your nexts steps. This is when it's time to do what's best for you, no matter what happens with him.
It might be just the way I'm reading your posts, but it doesn't appear that you are on an even emotional keel just yet. Find that place where you are ok no matter what and where what he does or doesn't do - does not affect you emotionally (detachment). That will take time.
If he truly wants to R - like Steve said, no obstacle will be too big. Look at all the effort and hard work it took to have the affairs. Don't let fear dictate your boundaries, or lack thereof.
ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19
8/17-BD IHS: 1/17-2/19 D FILED (ME): 7/19 D FINAL: 10/20 M23 T25 OW CONFIRMED: 01/21
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
