I wanted to talk to her today like an adult about potentially just taking the kids 3 days a week. (its what I do now anyhow) but I would pick them up friday after school and return them sunday night. This means I would not be interfering with the kids school and I will have them fri night-sun night Every week. (yeah not gonna happen now, she has gone ballistic).
Right now I have them saturday late at night until tuesday evening. Well, my kids went back to her today and my son is having some ill will toward her. He is unhappy about the fighting, he has heard they way she talks (we been in the car when i've answered phone calls) and he is aware she has moved back in with OM. He has over heard her and I arguing about her taking the custody away from me and me responding to her threats. I do this outside with my patio door shut but he has overheard and last week when she was physically there he heard her yelling at me in the parking lot.
I am admit that I need to stop engaging with her, I have to just let it slide and not let the threats get my goat, but these things regarding custody have really bothered me. My kids got involved in the back and forth and I know that is not good. I asked her if she would be willing to go to coparenting classes and sit down with the kids or the family and even the L and work this out, things are getting out of hand.
She decided to tell me she is at the L's office and is demanding that I pay her $800 that I havent paid the last 2 months since we agreed to cut the support back a little. (I dont legally have to pay anything until the order is completed and Ive paid over $13,000 just to be supportive). So that is not really cool, the next thing is her saying I am filing a restraining order on you because you threatened me and my kids and I will message your *&%(^ girlfriend and tell her to stay the F away from my kids enjoy your life good bye.
I asked to her calm down, once again ask if her and I can talk to the children, work this out and not do all this. She said I will tell them you have PTSD and abused me and you were an alcoholic. Etc etc... she has really gone for the gold here. Fortunately this is all via text message. I called the L's office, she was not there. I asked her not to contact me unless it is productive and to please calm down and work with me for the sake of the children. She continues to threaten to use alleged events from years prior to gain custody, file restraining orders, and threaten my time with the kids.
I know I need to keep the kids out of our arguing, I should have done a better job. She has become enraged at how my son is acting toward her because of the threats she is making. He is scared she is going to take my custody away. I told him that is not going to happen.
Something needs to give before this mess becomes a permanent effect on the kids more so than it has. I feel like I want to really push for this coparenting class and get the L to mediate the custody issue. My deciding to move has not occured yet, and wont occur for like 7 months, yet she is making these threats now. Telling the children and her family I am abandoning them and etc.. the petty fighting and threats are really the issue. I gotta stop this before it gets worse. Later she sends me a picture of the attorney's office door telling me to "call her bluff" I was hoping this would not come to this but clearly it has. I see myself in court a lot in the future, and my R with the girlfriend dissapearing as well because of this.
Steve_ I feel for your kids. No way should they in anyway be involved in all of this drama. Please do a better job at shielding them on your end. You have no control over hers.
Steve_, this is pretty common WW stuff here. You had the privilege of having mb post in your threads. The dude had a pretty epic WW. She made all kinds of similar threats to him. Even though she was the one that walked away, cheated, and made the choice to destroy the family.
Steve_ I do not mean to beat a dead horse, but this is another reason dating prior to the D being finalized is a bad idea. She is going to use your GF against you in anyway that she can! The judge will see two people that despite having kids have moved on with other people. The judge cannot believe anything either of you say. Her accusations will sound as true or false as yours will. When she claims abuse, and cheating, you will turn around and accuse the same thing. The judge will not be able to believe that you were faithful, after all you have a GF! At a minimum, the judge will now question just how important your kids are in your life.
Water under the bridge. I wish mb would come back to help you. He instituted some pretty good measures. He limited the communication she had with him so that there was a written record. One of the general rules is to limit all communication to between your lawyers, and through email. IF she approaches you at kid hand offs you record the interaction. Make sure she is aware you are recording because in many places secretly recording someone is illegal. Keep kids hand offs as clean and simple as possible. Meeting at a public place, where you do not have to interact at all if possible is the best thing. Instituting hand offs like this will limit your liability of claims she might make in more private settings (like your inlaws house!). Protect yourself.
And make sure you have a really good lawyer!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
