Steve_,

How is it reasonable for you to expect xW to take care of the kids on schooldays and give you sole custody on all weekends? Are you surprised that she said no?

You keep stating you will no longer do things to make her life easy. I feel that on the contrary you are angry because she is not accommodating what will make your life easy. Who do you think a neutral observer is likely to think is being reasonable? The person moving away from the kids for a new relationship? The person who does not want to put in the effort to take care of the responsibilities that come with weekday custody?

Complaining about xW is not productive and a waste of energy. If you are unable to come to a mutual agreement with her, talk to your lawyer and work on getting a formal legal agreement. Don't be surprised if the legal agreement is not your liking, since it appears your expectations are not realistic.

This is not a competition between you and xW on who is doing more for the kids. As a parent, it is your duty to do what is best for the kids. If xW is lacking in something, it behooves you to try harder and make up for that to the best of your ability. If you both play the game of 'why should I do more when the other is not doing as much', it is your kids that will ultimately suffer. Your kids are blameless and are in this situation for no fault of theirs. Protect them and put their interests first, even if xW won't. You never know - perhaps seeing you do the right thing will motivate her to do more. Even if it doesn't your kids still benefit from your efforts.