Steve_, if your youngest is 5, then for the next 13 years all of your decisions should be based on one ideal: What is best for the kids.

This may mean personal sacrifice. At times it may mean eating crap sandwiches from the ex. But at the heart of everything should be "What is best for my kids!" Period. This was another reason I was not supportive of dating right now. Your kids have been through a lot. And while kids are resilient, they also have needs for their development. I'd encourage you to find a good family counselor and take them to see this counselor.

Not sure about the move, why you are doing it. My guess is to be closer to the GF. If so then I echo Mr.B above, that is an impulse move. You just gave us a great update on your new church, the kids love it, etc. And now are planning on moving almost an hour a way? Have you really thought that through?

I don't expect to change your mind, this board from your side has always been more of an update, get angry at pushback, disappear for days or weeks at a time, then come back with another update. Rinse, repeat. I know you well enough now to know that once your mind is made up there is no stopping you.

If the move is about the GF, just a question: Have been going to IC to work on your PTSD? If not, I see you in the same situation with her in 3-7 years. Do the hard work on yourself now, before it is too late again.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018