Hey Scott, been a while since I posted.
You are getting great input by most here!
A list of demands might be good but the top spot on that list helped me out of ur current situation.
1. “Unless she is the one to initiate (read beg and beg and beg for weeks) recon I will never ever trust that she wants it.
Hence, you can never ever have ANY part in the start of a recon. Not even a hint.
This is my opinion and advice, take it for what it is. For me it was a very strong realization.

To this day I still think way too much about her but it’s easy to fall back on this principle.
Also easier since she “blew up” her lips sick

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021