You are who you've always been. And you are the person you've always wanted to become. When you're sitting in that anger of yours thinking about all that stbxh has taken from you, focus in on the parts of yourself that were robbed or compromised to keep him happy, to keep him quiet, to keep him off your back, or just general to keep him. Think about all the times you've been happiest in your life. Who were you then? What about her do you miss? Think about all the things you've always wanted to be or do and have had to put on the back burned because it didn't fit into your old life, or the old version of yourself. H may have taken a lot from you, but he didn't take who you are at your core and he didn't take your future.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712