Originally Posted by ScottB
Anyhow, I got a call from a competitor - which was nice of him to call to a degree - letting me know that he was going to be taking over the business. He let me know that my in laws didn't feel comfortable working with me and didn't feel comfortable even calling me to have the discussion. He also recommended that I call them and leave a message to let them know there were no hard feelings.
Very adult and business like. Good job Scotty B.
Originally Posted by ScottB
I knew it was coming, but its just another reality hit. These things stir up pain. I imagine that is simply going to be the way it is for the rest of my life, but it will probably be less and less as time goes by.
Yep. This may be permanent but will get less and less. I recently saw at Ex at a wedding and didn't feel much.
Originally Posted by ScottB
Counseling continues to be helpful for me to process my feelings and to try and make sense of something that doesn't make sense to me.
Counseling will help in this matter.
Originally Posted by ScottB
My last session the counselor helped me see that in the marriage I had accepted certain behaviors too long, which was not healthy for me or for my ex.
This is very true but on the flip side your ex most likely did the same.
Originally Posted by ScottB
He made the comment that the vision I had for my marriage represented my fantasy or my ideal and that I need to continue to work to accept that it doesn't exist either.
Your counselor gave you great advice here. Number 1 reason there is so much suffering on this board. Everyone here is in love with a fantasy that doesn't exist.
Originally Posted by ScottB
And then the big one is that I shared with him that my mind just keeps going around in circles asking What I did wrong. His point on that one was that I didn't do anything wrong. This wasn't about me.
Your counselor is doing you a big disservice here Scotty B. You played a role in the break down in the marriage. It's concerning to me that you don't see and accept it.
Originally Posted by ScottB
I know that is true but it is so hard for me to accept. I just constantly wonder, what could I have done differently, but at the end of the day, This wasn't about me and I need to accept that.
Probably nothing. Your STBXW has never been faithful to you and was bound to stray again.
Originally Posted by ScottB
I'll continue to work at that - it will take time.
Great! We are all works in progress.


M:51 W:46
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S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi