Originally Posted by SteveLW
I've never known anyone that improved their situation with wishes. Admittedly, I don't know your circumstance but find out difficult to believe that you have no options. Heck you used to work in IT. We are doing that from home these days!!
This is so frustrating to try and explain. Yes I used to be in IT - over 7 years ago. Yes I used to sit and look at a screen all day with no issues. I used to sit at a desk all day, with no issues.

Since I've had that vertigo attack and now have this 'thing' I can't see a screen as my eyes are blurry. I used reading glasses that make me so dizzy after 15 minutes. My left arm goes numb, my neck gets stiff within moments unbearable, increases my tinnintus and makes my head feel so awful I don't know what to do with myself. Just typing this for 10 minutes makes it worse in almost seconds, so I can't sit and do it very long. It's unbelievebly difficult to explain. This is why I had to give up IT. I also get chronic fatigue after being up for an hour, although in recent days because of the stress I can't sleep.

Originally Posted by SteveLW
And if you can't even do that, I find it hard to believe you can't get disability on a country as open to social programs as yours.
I can't. It's not a recognised disability. I have applied to Personal Independance Payments which focuses on individual disability, but it is unlikely I will be successful I have been told. The reason being is that all the questions are leading yes/no, "Can you cook a meal?", "can you wash yourself?", "Can you take medication on your own?". These are so basic that unless you're virtually bedridden it's hard. I had the expert at the Citizens Advice help me complete it and she says it's unlikely. It's been sent off now weeks ago, it can takes months for an assessment if they decide.

Originally Posted by SteveLW
Anyway, I hope they courts move on it. But I would want to have more of my own fortune in my own hands.
Yes so would I and I don't know how to accomplish that.

I understand about what you say about "wishes", but I do. I have tried so hard over the years to get stuff sorted, I think I have mentioned before. The wife and I were going to work on stuff together, but it would appear she disregarded that without telling me. I was waiting for her and kept mentioning, I was doing bits as far as I could go. She don't bits to a certain point then stopped.

I want to get it all going now and it is hard feeling like I am. I am in so much pain as my wife used to crack my ribs in each day and that hasn't been done for 12 weeks. I've spent so much time with glasses on that I can't see anything and my head is awful. I have to use the PC for everything and sit there with my neck getting stiffer - this last's for days/weeks at a time. It's been permanent and increasing since my wife has left. I have been to the doctor, I am in touch with physio (who won't see people now), I have been to the osteopath when it got really bad but I can't keep affording that - less than a week later it's bad again.

This is how I have been for over 7 years and I cannot find a solution to it. There isn't one.

I notice I say I can't also, which may not be helpful, but I don;t know how to find answers when the medical industry (both main and alternative) haven't got answers. I have been trying to find a solution to this for 7 years, constantly - diet, CBD oil/cannabis, fasting, turpentine protocol for parasites, epilepsy drugs, beta blockers, anti-depressants, acupunture, chiropractic, Watson Approach, deep neck flexor physio, etc. - I can't remember all of what we tried over the years but it's been fairly extensive and this also effect my cognition.

I have always said that I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.


M(55), W(45)
BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21)
Divorce Filed (16 July '21)
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When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.