I wouldn't do or expect that, which is why I agreed for her to go when she told me she wanted space for a couple of days (the excuse to leave). Part of me knew that it was likely she wouldn't return, reinforced by the brief heavy sob that she let out when she briefly hugged me before she went, but I hoped that she would. Of course I tried to find the issue and the why and the discussion went down that route - of course it did. Then just before she went I told her that she was breaking my heart - she was, she did ... she has.
Neither would I want her back, not the person she has shown herself to be now anyway. I would have appreciated honesty though, rather than this despicable cloak and dagger stuff that started at least 2 years prior and has been built on lies, deceit and so much hurt, manipulation (that I'm still working out) & the financial loss - only uncovered after she had left.
I think of our life together, certain days just pop into my mind continually, each one stabbing the emptiness in my heart until it physically hurts. Did I, would I want to change her mind, yes I would want to change her mind, yes I tried. I wouldn't know how to make anybody stay against their will, surely this is not possible, is it?
M(55), W(45) BD1: Apr-2011, BD2: 23-May-21, NC (15 June '21) Divorce Filed (16 July '21) --- When you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to trust it's there.
