Originally Posted by smilie
She charges 196/hr (272.50USD) but bills loads of time for emails.
Originally Posted by smilie
She told me that a divorce can cost between �5,000 - �25,0000 ($6,900 - $35,000), depending on how difficult the other party wants to be - at the moment, very it would appear.
I live in a different country, this rate doesn't sound outlandish. While my lawyer was one of the top in my area and billed at $300/hr, I don't live in a major city either where I'm sure the rates are much higher. Did you sign a retainer agreement? Mine specified exactly the rates/minimum cost per communication (meeting in office vs. meeting on phone vs. $75 for an email...etc.). I ended up paying ~$8k for the entire process, so not cheap but not $35k either.

Reach out to another attorney or two for a free consultation and ask about their rates / costs? Maybe there's a better option for you. Maybe there's an attorney willing to defer the payments until the judgement is finalized, knowing you'll likely receive maintenance / reimbursements for monies removed from accounts / lawyers fees...etc.

Another thing to keep in mind is in some jurisdictions the "more monied" spouse is responsible for paying part of the legal bills of the divorce for the "lessor money" spouse. Unfortunately for me, despite my ExW having the affair, filing for D, moving OM2 in with my kids...I had to contribute $3k to help pay for her to D me! What a world, right? However, IF that's the case where you are it would benefit you and may help your legal bills and an attorney's willingness to engage.

Originally Posted by smilie
This is the absolutely worst time in my life and I feel that I'm barley hanging in there, but I am. I keep getting these thoughts and images pop into my head that my wife comes back home. I know she isn't going to and it's heartbreaking and the first time I've cried over her for weeks ... Today, I've really missed her - the woman she used to be.
Sorry smilie. It is an awful experience - there's not way around it. Hang in there. You'll get through it eventually. You'll wake up one day and instead of each day or week feeling like a month you'll wonder "how has it been a year already?" .

Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21