I was with my ex for almost 10 years and I also made her my purpose. I very much identified as a family guy, and she was my best friend as well.
It took me a long time to work past most of the pain (for me it was about 14 months and I still deal with some stuff from time to time), so don't beat yourself up. You are on the right path in regards to healing if you are allowing yourself to honor your feelings.
Time takes time, I promise that your depression will lessen, you just take one day at a time.
One thing that truly was a lifesaver for me is the gym. I would, and still do play really loud rock music and crush it in the gym. It's become therapy for me, and you'll feel your confidence grow when the sleeves on your shirts get tight. Give it a try.