Thank you so much for responding!!! Yes I completely and totally want to save my marriage. I expect the worst but hope for the best. I have detached with still remaining attached. If that makes any sense🤔. I believe that is where the growth has came from. I stopped relationship talks completely, no longer speak of the past, and Iíve made a lot of independent growth. I flipped a switch somewhere along the way (after recognizing the MLC & reading these forums) and I began to control my actions and emotions. The apology from him that I expected for so long changed into me validating him, encouraging him, excepting everything (that one was the hardest), and then realizing I have no control and letting God guide the journey. I was never really able to set boundaries just ones thatís Iíve implemented from detachment. I didnít realize it was a crisis until after replay had almost ended. Boundaries would have helped tremendously back then😕 The changes he is making are ones that he has chosen to make. He made a comment back in November stating ďyou know I havenít been myself latelyĒ. He is slowly getting better. We have began doing more things as a family unit. We never have relationship talks but drinking occasionally (depending on his moods) he will text something about our relationship. I get the feeling that he doesnít want to commit but he doesnít want to let me go either. I really donít think he knows what he wants! I know it takes a lot more to come back to a relationship with failures then it does to start a new exciting relationship. I do ok though. I have my kids and we make it pretty good. He doesnít bring my only happiness, I create my own. I do desperately want him to return though because I do feel like he completes my life.