Originally Posted by mako
Much of my problem is that I am not sure exactly what I want, so I am trying to figure that out. Some days I am ready to just be done and move on with my life. Other days I'm not. The former is more permanent (yes I know nothing is necessarily permanent) so I won't choose that until I know I'm ready. But I haven't had the a ha moment yet. Maybe neither of us is all in right now and maybe I let her back too easy. Honestly, I was all in at the end of April, but as she waits I drift further towards wanting to to move on. I really doubt I'll still be in this same place in 5 years. I gave myself a year but I don't think it will be that long.
Limbo is just as much for you as it is for her, so you're probably right maybe neither of you are both totally in. And that's ok. There isn't some loss of power here biding your time as well You can just as easily walk away as her. Take your time. Feel good and solid in your decision whatever that may be. Unless the WS is one of those magically motivated ones you have time on your side. That drop dead date is for you and it's yours to change whenever you feel like it.
Originally Posted by mako
I'm curious too if she will do anything. I'm trying to live without expectations but I tend to overthink things.
You can have curiosity with out expectation. Wondering if she'll do something is different than expecting her to do something. I can remember a LBH like a year ago was aghast his WW couldn't be bothered with any effort on their anniversary after he did X, Y, Z and after weeks of people on the board telling him to not expect anything or do anything expecting a payout. As long as lunch an flowers is done without the expectation of return then it's simply that. You chose to acknowledge the day given it's a milestone. She either does or doesn't. You take it into account but be detached enough, and without expectation it's then simply a factor not an incident on your journey here.