So I think to get a clear picture you we need to look at what has transpired. M's wife went onto OLD to test her SMV (sexual market value) looking for a BBD (bigger better deal). At some point she found that deal and was ready to make the deal final. Somewhere along the way that deal went south and now she wants to stop the D process. She didn't stop the process because she realized she is madly in love with MAKO. She lost her BBD. So MAKO can certainly see how it plays out or he can decide he is no one's plan B and dictate what he needs to see from her to move this marriage forward. I totally agree with Wayfarer " If this isn't her biding her time parts of the relationship will start to get on track faster than others. It will be confusing, and frustrating. But If this is what you want and you're willing to wait for it you have to sit in that confusion and you can't dump it on her. We each make choices here. Choosing to wait it out often means eating sh!t sandwiches you more than likely don't deserve. But if it's the path you choose it comes with the territory."
I also agree when she said "All of this takes time. More than you would like it to. And limbo genuinely stinks. I'm glad you've picked a drop dead date. It really does relieve some weight off your shoulders."
Here's the rub. If she is biding her time it certainly is not going to turnaround by next February. WWs can go many years in LIMBO.