Hey Mako,

So I come to this stuff from the perspective of both a WW in my first MR. And as an LBS in my second. So when I see advice to LBH's I'm a little wary when people get a little too personal situation specific. Some things are true of all WS/WAS. Some is not. However a lot of the advice here is gold make sure to digest it.

R2C's advice of GALing but opening the invitation is such, such good advice. "If I was in your shoes, I would find something that would be light and fun with food and music. Someplace you could go by yourself or with her. Plan on going by yourself, but make room for her to join. Have a sitter ready." Sandi is a big proponent of that. It's in the DR book. And it worked for me. We were pretty trapped due to Covid last summer but I would go hiking and invite him or to our neighbor's for a drink around the fire. He refused often in the beginning but eventually started warming up and joining. After time he started inviting me to his plans, and then eventually wanted to make plans together. Much like when you start dating. Like the early, early days. Not yet committed, but not entirely single either. Not saying this is fool proof. None of this is. It's all 1/2 chance 1/2 choice here. However, if there's a door to be opened this is an excellent way to find out without pressure or being invasive. But that only rings true if you can do so with out expectation. You have to have a "the chips will fall where they may" attitude about all of this or you will end up hurt, frustrated and disappointed. WS/WAS do not work on an LBS time line. They work at a sloth like pace until they don't. It makes no sense but it is what it is. Expectations set you both up for failure.

Which brings me to my next point, well Steve's point actually. "WASs tend to be more like ships than zero-turn mowers. Rarely do they turn away from their "I want a D!" pronouncement quickly. My sitch had a relatively fast turnaround, but it was till months, not days for it to happen." This line of Steve's not only made me giggle because of the sheer accuracy but it's also a good thing to keep in mind going forward. If there is going to be a return here, a recon, she is going to do it at her own pace, and you will have absolutely no control over that. She won't do it at a pace you'd like. She won't do it linearly either. If this isn't her biding her time parts of the relationship will start to get on track faster than others. It will be confusing, and frustrating. But If this is what you want and you're willing to wait for it you have to sit in that confusion and you can't dump it on her. We each make choices here. Choosing to wait it out often means eating sh!t sandwiches you more than likely don't deserve. But if it's the path you choose it comes with the territory.

All of this takes time. More than you would like it to. And limbo genuinely stinks. I'm glad you've picked a drop dead date. It really does relieve some weight off your shoulders. Good luck mako.