IMO any time there is a reconciliation the WWs needs to EARN another chance with the LBS. Reconciliation requires a level playing field, an even starting line. BOTH of you need to be willing to walk and to believe the other one will leave.
Yes, if they ever reconcile--they're clearly not reconciling right now--BOTH parties need to put in the effort to forgive past hurts and form a new bond. It's a dynamic balance and may not feel equal day-to-day. BL42's wife IMHO is more WAS than WW. She indicated she was done and wanted a divorce--THEN bought lacy underwear and went onto Bumble. She was actively pushing the D. She ended a relationship that wasn't working. A nuance here is a WAS often has less to be remorseful about than a WW, sometimes less than the LBS. I'm proud of my refusal to remain in a relationship with my XW that wasn't working, after 1.5yrs of trying. I'm romantic and believe in forever, but I also believe in the pursuit of happiness.
I'm currently reconciling as friends with both my XW and an Ex-GF I wronged. It's funny how, even though it's as friends, the process isn't too dissimilar to when I reconciled with the Ex-GF who BD'd me.
