I would encourage you to go re-read MWD's LRT technique. From what I understand, there are three steps: Step 1 - Stop the Chase: This is what we also refer to as detach Step 2 - Get a life: This not only includes GAL but also implementing 180s to improve yourself Step 3 - Wait and watch: MWD says that there are three possibilities in step 3. The first is "Nothing", the second is "Your Mate Becomes Curious" and the third is "Your Spouse has a change of heart".
In the first possibility she states "Unfortunately, there are times when, no matter what you do, your spouse has firmly shut the door on your marriage". In these instances you need to move on and focus on healing. How long a person waits and how they make the decision that the spouse has shut the door on the marriage differs on the individual and their sitch. As everyone has stated, that is Mako's decision to make. I hence don't agree your advice is any more more aligned with MWD's core tenets than that of LH or Ginger's. This is why individuality and difference in opinion needs to be respected. It prevents us from falling into traps created by our own bubbles and providing 'cookie cutter' advice to others.
Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by MLCxH
Originally Posted by may22
LH, I wasn't trying to be rude by saying you should head over to the chump lady's board. I think she is fabulous. The reason I say that is her philosophy aligns very closely with yours and you'll be with your people there, rather than continuing to trash the core tenets of the founder of this website. .
Definitions of the phrase cookie cutter include - "having the same configuration or look as many others of a given kind; lacking individuality; stereotyped or formulaic"
Detach, GAL and 180 is a powerful tool and is beneficial for us to adopt in our lives in more than one situation. However, implying that posters on this board should always align with the core tenets of the founder of this website or head over to a different board is implying that individuality and personal opinions should be eliminated when in conflict with the core "detail, GAL and 180" generic advice regardless of the situation. I wonder how that does not come down to giving "cookie cutter advice on detach, GAL and 180"?
MLCH my man. Thanks for having my back dude!
You are welcome, LH. I find you to be a voice of reason in this forum and feel many have benefited from you. While I don't always agree with your opinion/advice I find it to be constructive and aligned with MWD's core tenets.
Incidentally, I had not heard of the Chump Lady prior to this and I checked out her page online. It is easy to poke holes and criticize others but difficult to do something constructive. MWD's work on DB/DR has helped so many people whether it is to save their relationships or heal from the breakup. I did not take time to read the Chump Lady's page fully but at a quick glance I don't think your advice is aligned with her thoughts and I am sorry your advice on this board was compared to that.
Originally Posted by may22
Peace, guys. I don't need more @holes in my life and so I'm out. Not worth it. Hope you guys find happiness.
Talk about irony, since I find what you are doing here to be aligned with LH's advice regarding moving on when it is not worth continuing to having some people in our lives
