WAW willing to try, for now (#2)

[Ready2Change]

What it all really comes down to is:1) We both need to be attracted to each other for this to work

No. Attraction is a small part of it. Yes, you should understand attraction and become an attractive Male. Not to win her, but it is a good way to be.

2) We both need to be committed to working on the M for this to work

Not at this stage. You need HER to express her commitment to you before you make your decision.

if we don’t change anything that’s where we’ll likely end up again

Correct. The way YOU interact with her is the important changes YOU need to make. Again, you do not do this to win her back, but rather as an expression of your new found wisdom and personal growth as a man.

I've been doing IC and reading and trying to recognize more of my role in all this

Good. Clean up your side of the street. Keep your personal growth a priority. It should be a never ending process.

So a big thing now is I need to figure out how long I want to wait on improvement. Setting the date

Where are your core values in all of this? Has she had sex with someone else? If so, has she expressed regret? Is she actively having sex with someone else? What behavior have you, or do you, or should you show when dealing with these type of disrespectful behaviors?

One weird thing to me is that the consensus seems that I shouldn't say anything about wanting MC. I am supposed to hold her accountable if she doesn't do it.

MC should be one of your unconditional terms, but it should be HER idea.

As far as 180s go, I should be open and honest about my wants and needs.

At this phase of the process, you may want to be selective. Timing and wording play an important role.

I appreciate that I have a number of folks with thousands of posts commenting. You all have seen a lot of sitches and have a lot of experience here.

I believe we had more success stories back when I was going through my sitch about 10 years ago. Some of the wisdom from back then has been lost.

Changing my believes, my behavior and the way I interact with woman (as well as men) all started from this website. My parenting beliefs and style were also part of my personal growth journey that started back then.

This is your journey and you can keep the traits you like, drop the ones you don't and incorporate new ones as you see fit. Your spouse may or may not give you feedback, but ultimately you should be the judging your behavior. Did I behave the way that I wanted? Am I making decisions based on my core values? Am I changing my behavior for the better?