WAW willing to try, for now (#2)

[LH19]

Nothing exciting going on, things are mostly the same in that department. I am kind of impatient but also realize it took a long time to get here and could take a long time to move out of wherever we are.

I bought into this BS type of thinking early on. It all comes down to does she desire to do the work. If she does you will be fine. If she doesn't you will certainly get bombed again. Ill post below what I posted to you awhile back.

I have pretty much turned off all physical affection, figuring as discussed above that she needs to start coming to me. She has not. I still feel we are getting along great, far better than the past few years, but that part isn't there yet.

Look at the first & second sentence. The third sentence don't me jack $hit.

At some point we are going to need to talk more about this.

So Mako I told you before I had a year and a half false recon. I too believed in time she would work her way back to me. The problem is she had no incentive to do so because I didn't require things like MC, IC etc. Eventually she found OM2 and the rest is history. I wish I would have had the b@lls to say "you are either all in or your out".

If she's already tried dating sites chances are these are her issues that she doesn't want to address that you may or may not be exacerbating, and she doesn't believe in her heart that she can navigate back to "happy" with you.

If you engage in a relationship with her again it should only be under the conditions that:

1) She sees you as someone of extremely high value
2) She views a relationship with you as something much better than a life with someone else or a life alone
3) She's willing to work to win you

Without those three things, she's going to walk again down the line, because she really doesn't have the motivation to work with you to change anything, your relationship will keep seeking the same equilibrium it has had because of how your personalities and issues come together.

So you have to question number 1 because she was going to D you. She didn't really get to find out about number 2. It doesn't look like number 3 is there right now.

I am not saying to give up. What I am saying is don't make the mistakes that myself and countless others have made.