I agree with you on not pushing it to where I am trying to control her, which allows her to reflect it back. Well, actually she's constantly trying to control me still. I mentioned risking the shaky peace as anytime I disagree with her, she is triggered and there is always an emotional response or other nonsense targeted at me within a day or so. The further we disconnect, this is lessening thankfully.

I told her I do not support her telling my daughter in the least bit and will not participate in doing this before her bday. ExW changed her mind and offered a reasonable date in the future. We'll see what revenge she takes out. We're still working on splitting finances if you can believe that. That's were I'm predicting blowback now. Worth it to give my daughter a peaceful bday.

Lots of truth here and thank you for the suggestion on what to say. I plan on doing just that, mentioning the marriage ended, we both love her, its not her fault and tacking on that we will have two separate houses. You're right in that no time is a good time to tell a child about divorce. The poor baby still asks for family slumber parties and such which would'vebeen wonderful moments. She'll be hit hard. I respect my Ex less and less every day for her actions taken and that she still takes. On top of her plan to tell D on her bday, she also wants D involved in splitting up stuff between the houses. While I get it gives D some control, D shouldn't get involved in the process or else she'll think she's part of it or supporting it. The woman I live with just a little longer has become so radicalized.

H37, W37
D4, S2
BD 9/19
EA discovered 10/19
Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated