Originally Posted by LH19
The number one challenge people have on DB is that they WANT to pursue because they want their control back, so despite knowing they shouldn't, they invent viable excuses to justify it to themselves and then do it anyway.

Lack of self control is the #1 enemy of DB. If self control were easy, no one would smoke, drink, or be overweight. Its very hard, but that's what it takes to turn things around, commitment to being counter-intuitive and fighting your impulses.

Going the other way is the ONLY thing that may effect a woman like that.

I often tell people, the shortest path back together is a straight line in the opposite direction.

The very best path is the minute your partner says they want out you smile, say "good luck with that", hand them a box of their stuff, and go live a kick-@ss life of your own.

In that case, they have to spend zero time focused on getting away from you and can right away shift into wondering where you've gone. That's what you want.

In terms of her feeling differently -- when you first met she didn't instantly want to marry you, then you got married and she didn't want to leave you, then at some point she did want to leave you. She was stubborn the whole time, made three decisions there and changed her feelings about the first two. That should prove to you that her feelings do change, and despite how she feels now, or what she says now, she may feel and do completely different things in the future. You have hard evidence of that.

Buckle your seatbelt because the ride is just beginning. She won't be done with you for a long time, nor will you be done with her. Assuming you have children together you will be intermeshed for the rest of your life.

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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