We all get urges. The trick is to pause, write it down, and reflect on it before acting. The goal is to act in-line with your goals and values. Very few interactions or decisions must be made on-the-spot. You can almost always say, "I need time to consider it." This improves the quality of decisions. They still won't be perfect. We can only do our best.
E.g., a newly single acquaintance on my Facebook feed posted photos of her new hairdo yesterday. She asked me out years ago. Immediate urge--ask her out on a date. She's entering the "I want to look good" phase which usually means she's ready or close to ready to date and I'd probably be the first to ask her out. Reflection--no, I'm not dating now, and she doesn't match all the values I'm seeking anyway. When I date, it's okay if it takes awhile. My life is good solo and I only accept great matches.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
