I married young to the sweetest guy on earth. I had never heard of NGS, but I quickly learned the hard way that my H was a poster boy for Mr. Nice Guy. I'll spare you the history, b/c it's quite long. I'll just tell you that his NGS killed the attraction I felt for him, b/c a wife's loving feelings are based on the level of respect she feels for her H. With that said, a LBH who has a WW needs to view his actions based on the respect factor. It doesn't matter if she cries, throws a fit, threatens, or whatever. What matters is that she learns to respect you as a man. Listen carefully. She has to respect you as a man, before she can respect you as her H. That's the starting line back to a promising healthy relationship.
She may not like you whatsoever, initially, but that's okay. Your goal is not trying to be likeable. Your goal is not to get on the good side of your WW. Your goal is to command respect under you own roof, and in all of your relationships. The problem nice guys seem to have, is not knowing exactly how to conduct themselves in order to get this respect from others. They jump from one end of the spectrum to the total opposite, and act more like a jerk than a self respecting man who has standards/principals. So, I'll warn you in advance, if you choose to accept this challenge......gear up for the unpleasant side of a wayward wife. The cheating is a symptom of her disrespect for you and your relationship together. You need to get that in your head. Prepare for the worst, and if you occasionally have moments of peace and some level of niceness from her......enjoy the moment, but don't think for a minute she has "changed". It takes time and consistent strength on behalf of the LBH, before her respect begins to return. Unfortunately, most WW's are very cunning, and most LBH's have trouble staying balanced and not fall for the tricks his WW pulls out of her bag. I encourage you to use this board daily as a source to stay balanced and on target.
I don't quote Sandi2 much. That is because almost every post of hers would be quoted. 18,632 posts. Go read as many as you can, you will be much wiser:
