The reason I asked is because I feel that same feeling towards my STBXW's OM. But then I asked myself why do I hate him?

I don't know him as a person, but I do think I know his values. He is a guy, who had just recently D'd himself, with an S about the same age as mine, who willingly pursued something with a woman who was still living with her S and H, who was trying his hardest to work on his M and keep his family together. He bought what my STBXW was telling him and even got involved by slinging mud about me.

But...does that mean I should hate him or loathe him? I am a very kind and compassionate person, I don't think I've ever really hated someone that much. From what I know about him, I think he is a pretty low person, whom probably doesn't have much compassion or empathy. Do I want my S near the person who aided in tearing apart his family, absolutely not, but not sure if I feel hate either.


Me: 39 W:40
T: 14 M: 11
S: 4
BD1: IHS Nov 2019
BD2: ILYBNILWY Jun 2020
OM since Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"