Also - don't minimize your feelings. It's can be confusing and crazy-making if you allow it. Great that you know it "doesn't mean anything" - it means something, but the only one who knows what it means is your W - and she might not even know!!
That's been a struggle because I'm still learning how to deal with my feelings in a healthy way and not dwell on them vs. minimizing them by stuffing them away and fooling myself that I've dealt with them. The latter ones come back and bite me on the ass as a reminder. At this point I have a very cynical outlook on everything she says and does. We had an Amazon package delivered the other day and one of the things in it was the book "Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love" which is supposed to "offer a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love." In the past I would see that as a sign she's trying to work on us, now I assume it's to help her on her dating quest and I move on.
This is another way in which IC can be really helpful.
Yeah, mine has been a lifesaver. We meet weekly on Friday afternoon and it is super helpful - come out feeling empowered (most times, not always lol) and ready to take on the world. I start losing that momentum around Wednesday. But they've been very good at providing tools to help deal with the situation. I can't imagine someone going through this without some sort of professional help.
