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This may be interpreted of nave of me, but I don't think she would be chasing another OM, for her to have an affair would of been a big step for her and I think inside she knows what she has done is wrong and against what she stands for,


I hope you are right, but you have described the former woman......not this new WW. Her belief system did not stop her from having an affair, but I do think those who have a strong moral/spiritual belief system are more likely to have a change of heart. Women who were raised without moral guidance and core values are the ones I worry about the most.

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If she has not forgiven me in 10 years and has not let go of my affair, what are the chances of it happening now? Should I just agree to divorce so we can both move on?


The chances are slim, but I think it's possible. As for divorce........that's up to you.

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I will look after myself and let her get on with what she has to do, it she wants to talk I am here, I will be polite with her, but not take too much interest. Treat her like a neighbour I think lots of people say on here.


I support this action as long as it doesn't become a permanent way of life. I've seen too many couples who live together under the same roof, but they are disconnected for the rest of their lives. It has become their pattern, where he goes his way and she goes her way.......but they never come back together. My advice would be to have a deadline, so to speak. It's important that you don't discuss a deadline or tell her you're even thinking about it. It's just for you. Unless you want to live out your days in this type of sitch, then give it a deadline. If you've seen no change by that time, then you should have a plan to move on from the M. That's just opinion.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!