Originally Posted by 97Hope
I'm going to pick on you a little.....See what you did in that paragraph?

YOU decide to move forward and be happy. Period. No matter what.

YOU have freedom and opportunity NOW to do whatever you want.(and have had, despite having your **'s in her purse, that was your choice)

I think that's the point of many LBS struggles. We don't even realize that we had agency. But we did and do now.

I get what you're saying, for sure. When I talk about freedom now though I'm more referring to non-married or single freedom. If we do some how end up getting back together, I will absolutely need more freedom and agency or it won't work. But even with that, there's still the gives and takes of being in a relationship. But if we don't get back together, that kind of freedom - the single kind - where you can wake up, hop in the car, and just drive wherever you wand to go without telling a soul or planning at all where you are going. That's a whole other kind of freedom.

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BD makes us think we aren't going to be ok without them, but the truth is we MUST be ok without them or we aren't suited to have a healthy R.
I completely agree. I'm going on 6 months since BD and while I'm nowhere near where LH19 wants me to be (lol) I'm already much stronger and more OK with myself that I was. There's still a ways to go but the overwhelming sense of dread when thinking about the future is now tempered with some excitement and hope. and that's good.