Originally Posted by SaltyDog
And I realized, no matter what happens, I win. Either we get our sh!t straightened out, decide to move forward and be happy together (win) or I get MY sh!t straightened out, I decide to move forward and get the freedom and opportunity to do whatever I want (win). And that was pretty empowering. And if I'm being honest, the second option with the freedom resonated more. I don't know if that is the grass is always greener optics as I have good friends with that freedom who in the past always said how much they envied me and having a family (lol) and how much being single [censored], etc. But I do think, either way I do win.

I'm going to pick on you a little.....See what you did in that paragraph?

YOU decide to move forward and be happy. Period. No matter what.

YOU have freedom and opportunity NOW to do whatever you want.(and have had, despite having your **'s in her purse, that was your choice)

I think that's the point of many LBS struggles. We don't even realize that we had agency. But we did and do now.

Of course the freedom resonates more! We are all meant to be free. But we have to claim it.

- in any R - we can't be dependent on the other person. We can't wait for them to be 'ok' so that we can be ok. We control ourselves, and work on ourselves, and grow. We get strong.

You are free. You have always been. BD makes us think we aren't going to be ok without them, but the truth is we MUST be ok without them or we aren't suited to have a healthy R.

And we are so busy clinging to an R that is corrupt we don't see that being free isn't about a marriage license - it's all the work DB is about - on ourselves, so that if/when we choose to R with the WAS - we are ready. And if we choose not to - that's ok too. But we aren't clinging to an unhealthy R and feel we have no choice.

**I like 300 for entirely different reasons laugh

ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19

IHS: 1/17-2/19
D FILED (ME): 7/19
D FINAL: 10/20
M23 T25

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.