I just caught up on your sitch! How are you? Do you have a date for the move out?
It's interesting to read a year of someone's life and see how far they have come. I've re-read my own sitch a few times during the past 2 years and I can learn something about myself - and where people have made suggestions that I didn't follow or followed and worked that I had forgotten about.
The only thing that I can see is your desire to have conversations about what is best for the kids with your XW. Unfortunately, like Sandi has explained - she has her own opinion of what's ok for your kids and unless she is exposing them to a degree that would require legal intervention, there's nothing you can do.
I would only add that you continue to post here, talk to IC or a trusted friend and get it out of your system. Other than that, communicate with XW only as absolutely necessary. Will help with final phases of detachment.