I love this!! The veil is slipping - you are beginning to see this for what it is. Don't go backwards! Keep asking yourself - what would I tell my friend?? What would I tell my son if this was his W?? Listen to advice from people who love you and don't want you to be treated like garbage. And most of all....
Be your own friend.
I like this a lot. I've mentioned it before but one big issue I've been working on with my counselor is both forgiving and loving myself. I'm good at forgiving others and terrible at forgiving myself or giving myself the benefit of the doubt. Once you start actively trying to notice your own negative self-talk, it can be eye-opening. I have a long way to go there.
Originally Posted by 97Hope
Think of other things in your life that required courage and remember who you are.
I had a picture of Sly Stalone in Rambo (when he put the red bandana on right before going to fight). I'm kind of weird but it worked for me and I've used that pic a LOT! lol Music? Quotes of strength. - Whatever you need to do to find strength and courage to move forward and stop going back to the abuse.
One thing that has helped just with my overall mindset is definitely changing my music. Turning off the sad-whoa is me-cry into your beer playlists and instead going with the get-pumped-up-and-kick-ass playlists. Or just going back to good jazz. Switching out those triggers and avoiding the victim mindset makes a big difference.
Originally Posted by 97Hope
(I read and re-read The Art of War) good stuff and not triggering. It gave me a break from 'self-help'.
I started Art of War but didn't stick with it, I'll give it another go. I switched to fiction for a break and am reading The River by Peter Heller which has been a good choice. I also read The Way of the Conscious Warrior and liked it but didn't love it. A little too much focus on historical stuff vs. practical advice for men today. But still worth reading. I'm also in the middle of The WIsdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts and absolutely loving it and I am going back and re-reading Unf*ck Yourself by Gary John Bishop which I also really like. I basically watch zero TV unless it is with the boys, the rest of the time I'm reading something. Something I've always loved to do but totally gave up over the course of my marriage. Says a lot.
