As always, thank you Only, Ginger, LH, Sandi, Ovr, BL Advice and just the general consideration from all of you is SO VERY MUCH appreciated!
Having a great week with the kids, barbecue, puzzles, reading a lot, trying to engage them in cooking etc. One of my goals this year is to work out at least 200 times.
So to your input. It really helps me to read all your experiences and viewpoints. All the pain caused by WAS and OP's in the world is crazy! So many ppl who need to understand some traditional values and their responsibility as a parent. I realized a few days ago that XW was having second thoughts about the apartment (and more?) just two months ago and now she introduced OM. That's so broken and irresponsible behavior! It really pains me to think about it but if there is one thing I've learned from this whole journey it is to see the things I can not control.
On my part I have let it go for now. I am glad I said something but I think I could have been harder on her since I actually did say something. Given some time and perspective I am really glad to see the kids happy about "moms new apartment" and like you Gigi I just try to ignore the part about OM. I talk to them one on one to make sure they are alright and also tell them how I feel and that it is ok to feel sad however atm they seem real happy about it. That's what matters the most! As you mentioned Sandi, I never bad mouth XW in front of the kids however, there may come a time when they are older when I explain more. Who knows.
I might talk more about it again with XW but I know I cant impact it so probably not. My main focus atm is the physical separation and make sure it goes smooth for me and the kids.
Focus on being an attractive and successful man who women want and your mental space will be occuppied with something much much better.
This time will also come. I think. I keep working out and reading, try to talk more to women (though interaction is minimal in corona-times), look better in general (clothes, grooming etc) but all of it is for me. I want to to make it routine. I want to be a better me. Not just now. Forever. I am not really interested in women at all atm.
Me: 34 Stbxw: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 OM Confirmed: Feb 2020 March 2020: I filed for D Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021