Originally Posted by ScottB
LH - You made me laugh out loud. Those last two questions were so true. I know youve been where I am, so you understand the mind F.

The mediator today said her hope is that we file by April.

My STBXW was supposed to get a job offer today (or she was told she didnt get the job). And hear I am, Mr. Nice Guy wanting to reach out and check in. If she didnt get it she will he crushed.

Since the separation, every interaction Ive had with her (2 mediations, 1 drop off, Christmas) she has cried more in front of me than she had in years. She is broken and life is giving her a real tough hand right now. Her dads dementia, her sisters stroke, all kinds of issues with her house, parenting issues, job search issues - life is hard for her.

I know, not my concern. I was fired. Well, its not that clean and easy.

My life is going well and continues to go well. Tomorrow Im taking both kids skiing. Wednesday after work Im grabbing a drink with a good friend. Thursday Ive got no plans, which kind of stinks - but a friend of mine might be having some people over.

My next 5 day stretch without the kids I might do a spiritual retreat to fill that time. Its something Im interested in so well see.


The guilt often makes them cry. And we LBSs usually misinterpret their tears. "He/she is not a crier, so this is big." Because we as the LBS like to pretend that we are still dealing when the person we married. Even though we aren't.

So if you're implying her crying is an indication of remorse, or sadness at what she is losing, becareful. Go by actions. She's still dragging you to mediation, and then trying to criticize you to the mediator. That speaks louder than tears.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018