And it occurs to me that you are merely taking the steps laid out before you here, without really understanding fully the "whys" of what you are doing, or being asked to do.
And that is totally normal for the stage that you are in...
When I say that this is a "process" , I mean that you may not understand why LH wants you to do this, or Steve asks you to do that.
When I asked you the questions above, your answer last week will NOT be the same answer that you might give a few months from now.
Rarely in these situations, does an ultimatum work. Typically it will "push" the WAS out the door faster.
Usually with a WAS, nothing that you say or do will have an effect on them, yet everything that you say an do WILL have an effect on them. Make sense ? yeah, probably not.
I see guys come on here, and struggle with doing this or doing that. Trying to talk their way out of something that they acted their way into. Thinking that if they just apologize, then things will be all right, and they can just get back to life as they once knew it.
They think that magically, their situation is somewhat different than all of the rest of them here. Hell, I thought that too.
If I just explain a little harder, or one more apology, or if I just wash the dishes tonight, of take out the trash one more time.....then things will turn around for us...
It doesn't work that way.
I would always ask, what exactly are you apologizing for ?
To truly apologize, one has to be able to fully understand what they are apologizing for...
To what depths have your previous actions cut her??
How sharp were your words ???
How shallow were your actions ??
All of that ^^^^ is for YOU Dawg....
Nobody else gets to participate in the rebuilding of YOU....
No of that should be done for "her" , or the "marriage"....that is for you....
So, take some time, work on you...
Get lost in yourself.
Stop worrying about every little interaction that you have with her. Shine when it's time, heal when there is time, and understand that this thing is "bigger" than you, her , or the marriage right now....
Talk less Act more
She fired you from your job as her husband......treat it that way....
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain that which is to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time of love, and a time of hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
