Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
I'm anxiously awaiting the day that the amateur psychologists and wannabe experts put the word "vulnerable" into the vocabulary graveyard. I've heard that word more in the last couple years than I've ever heard in my life. Obviously you're W is in lala land if she thinks you should be opening up with her right now.

I get why she wanted me to be more "vulnerable" back before this all happened. I was anything but. I come from a long line of Stoic Finnish folk who aren't big on showing emotion. I do now see how this isn't the best thing for a relationship, but yeah, thinking I'm going to be all open and vulnerable with her so she can go on Tinder an hour later is nuts.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
Skip the part of the plan where you layout 2 options to her and proceed with option 2. If she was open to option 1 you'd know it.

No reason to stop detaching.

She is not your woman, so continue to act like it.
Both you and LH had the same reaction to not share option 1, and I like that. I also do feel slightly empowered by the fact I am getting my sh!t together finally and feeling better about myself. Not because it's going to make her swoon and fall into my arms, but there at least some times where I feel like I've taken some control back in my life (got a long way to go though) and when the gut punches or hurt happen - they move on quicker and hurt a little less each time.