Been a few days so thought I'd share an update. Things have been OK of late, mostly because I have stopped most of my detaching in order to make Xmas as good as possible given the circumstances.
What does stop detaching mean to you? I think you may be confused to what detachment means.
Originally Posted by SaltyDog
She also found a couple of books in our Amazon account I bought about separation and recovery from betrayal. I wasn't trying to hide them or be sneaky so I told her I was working on me.
This seems like manipulation on your part.
Originally Posted by SaltyDog
She sent a snarky reply about how that doesn't seem to involve being vulnerable (she's big on Brene Brown) or open with her since I've been so distant. I calmly replied that I can't be vulnerable without trust and I can't trust her if she's on dating sites. She replied "OK" and dropped it. I didn't push it and am not going to until after Xmas where I plan to lay out 2 options - 1. We decide to work on us, I will be open and vulnerable, and she will stop all dating. 2. She won't stop all dating and we will go from this soft separation into a full one where I can move on and fully detach. My guess is it will be option 2.
My suggestion would be just to move to option 2. If she brings up working on the marriage you can discuss it at that time.
Originally Posted by SaltyDog
Since she's been back though she has told me repeatedly how good I look and how I've lost weight and added muscle. She's liking that, lol.
It's standard WW manipulation.
Originally Posted by SaltyDog
I've also continued to GAL, going to jiu jitsu and getting my butt kicked whenever I can, reading reading reading, and booked a whale watching trip on a zodiac and a deep sea fishing trip for when I'm down at the coast.
