Been a few days so thought I'd share an update. Things have been OK of late, mostly because I have stopped most of my detaching in order to make Xmas as good as possible given the circumstances. There have been a few occasions where she has brought up my being distant, ignoring her, etc. and I've mostly shrugged it off. She also found a couple of books in our Amazon account I bought about separation and recovery from betrayal. I wasn't trying to hide them or be sneaky so I told her I was working on me. She sent a snarky reply about how that doesn't seem to involve being vulnerable (she's big on Brene Brown) or open with her since I've been so distant. I calmly replied that I can't be vulnerable without trust and I can't trust her if she's on dating sites. She replied "OK" and dropped it. I didn't push it and am not going to until after Xmas where I plan to lay out 2 options - 1. We decide to work on us, I will be open and vulnerable, and she will stop all dating. 2. She won't stop all dating and we will go from this soft separation into a full one where I can move on and fully detach. My guess is it will be option 2.

Since she's been back though she has told me repeatedly how good I look and how I've lost weight and added muscle. She's liking that, lol. I've also continued to GAL, going to jiu jitsu and getting my butt kicked whenever I can, reading reading reading, and booked a whale watching trip on a zodiac and a deep sea fishing trip for when I'm down at the coast.