We walked through noting all the improvements and when we were done I mentioned some structural concerns that she had pointed out for years. When I brought that up she shot me a gaze that said she wanted me dead. I simply don’t understand her anger.
It's pretty simple, she thinks you're trying to rip her off and devalue the house so that she gets a smaller settlement. My XW did the same, she would send me random notes informing me I needed to tell the appraiser "______" (fill in the blank). One example was there was a murder in our neighborhood and the home went up for sale, she told me I needed to tell the appraiser to remove that home from the appraisal because it would "artificially" deflate the value of our home. The home in question was not even in the appraisal but whatever!
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I haven’t done anything, this is all her. It doesn’t make sense at all, it’s ridiculous.
It’s confusing. I’ve given her every thing over the years. She stayed at home and could do anything she wanted, I don’t understand where this anger comes from.
It's probably not anger, more like frustration and aggravation. She's done with you, she's done with the M, and she can't close everything out fast enough. That's pretty typical. This is going to be tough to hear but you need to understand what you are up against- she doesn't love you right now. She doesn't like you right now. You may even repulse her. This is temporary, her feelings towards you WILL change even if you don't recon. But it's going to take a long, long time. And until she has a change of heart, you have really got to try and understand her mindset and the fact that she can't stand to be in the same room as you. You need to respect that even if you hate it. Allow her the space she wants. There's a line from Game of Thrones where Cersei tells someone "Every breath you draw in my presence annoys me." That's your W's attitude about you for the time being.
