Scott, got to chime in here and agree with the others. My W was a SAHM and it was her choice. I, being a very traditional guy, did everything I could to make that a reality. She made, at the time, almost as much as I did, so our income was cut by about 48%. I sold my brand new super duty pickup and drove an 11 year old Ford Taurus. We got rid of cellphones, went down to basic cable, refi'd the house back to 30 years (we were down to 10!). I moved mountains so she could stay home.

She was elated. But then with 2 years she had her first EA. She was miserable. She felt trapped. She even would say things like "you get to go off to work!" Within 2 years her attitude had completely flipped from "if I don't get to stay home and raise my child I will die!" to "if I don't get out of this house I am going to kill someone!" And even though she would still tell people that she was very grateful to be able to stay home and raise the our D, inside she was going crazy.

I was much like you Scott. "She gets to stay home, sleep in, enjoy life! I am out slaving away bringing home the bacon!" Then I saw a episode of the bald, Texas TV psychologist where he took a husband like myself, and drew up what childcare, meal prep, house-cleaning and the like would cost me if I were to pay someone to do it, and it was eye-opening! Remember, as Ginger says, while I got up at 6:30am, was at work around 7:30, put in 9-10 hours depending on the day, and came came home around 6pm, her job never ended. Admittedly, I helped out, and I took care of the snow removal in the winter, the yard work in the summer, etc. It was the ability to have a work and home life balance that she didn't have.

So while it looked to me like she was living her dream, for her at had turned quickly into a bit of a nightmare.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018