May, my two cents.

You are looking at your H as if he is your H. You are seeing someone you may or may not be with in the future, and you are trying to figure that out, and how he fits into that role you see him in and if he is doing the right or wrong things.

Who is this man in front of you? Who is this person, ignoring ALL titles (husband, father, friend etc.) and your titles as well. Who is this real person in front of you with emotions and a life as deep as your own?

I say stop looking at his actions as things you should respond to, and try to see who this person is with fresh eyes every day, and try to learn something new about him through your obsservations.